written by Mary Draganis
The smell of jasmine permeated the gardens as Major Kira Nerys walked quietly through. The arboretum had Bajor's plants and a few of the Federation variety which gave the gardens a varying look. She looked at the young plants and sighed. She didn't hear the footsteps behind her.
"I didn't know you appreciated gardening, Nerys."
Kira turned and found Governor Keiv Kali, the new Bajoran Governor of New Bajor, his dark hair intermingled with the grey and his dark eyes smiled. Kira looked at her old Shakaar comrade and marveled at the different paths the Prophets chose for them both.
"It's peaceful here. I didn't think you would be Governor!" Kira responded with a chuckle.
"I don't think I even believed I would live that long. I guess no one believed.."
"It's been a long time, Kali."
"Yes...too long. I hear you're the Bajoran Liaison Officer to the Federation, some job...didn't think diplomacy was your style!"
The two friends laughed. The young Kira Nerys was not known for her diplomacy or tact.
"Times have changed."
"I'm sorry I didn't meet you when your runabout landed. Being Governor is a lot harder than I thought! I have something to show you."
Kali took her hand and led her out of the arboretum and through to New Bajor's new town square. In the center stood a large statue of the Resistence Leader, Dianon Jurii. Kira looked up and smiled.
Dianon Jurii was the man responsible for taking all the rag tag resistence groups and forming a united Bajoran Resistance. He was Kira's hero and father figure since she had lost her own father, he took on the responsibility of looking after the scared and frightened child. Whatever she knew in social graces she owed to Dianon Jurii. Kira touched the statue and smiled.
"He would have been proud of you, Nerys. We're calling this square, the Dianon Jurii Memorial Circle. What do you think?"
"I think he would have liked that."
"A tribute to one of the greatest Resistence Leaders that Bajor ever had. It's just a small tribute that New Bajor can give."
***
Kira struggled to move, the rain and the mud hampered her movement. The sounds of bombs and phasers, the cries for mercy echoed in her head as a flash of brilliant light exploded in her head.
"NOOOOO!" She screamed as she woke from her nightmare, and she struggled to stop the images in her head. She sat up and looked around the unfamiliar room. She struggled out of bed and to the replicator. Her bare feet cold against the stone floor.
"Ginger tea."
She took the steaming cup of tea and sat on the corner of her bed. She took a sip and closed her eyes and exhaled. The nightmares had returned. She had tried to meditate, she spoke to Bareil but her nightmares persisted. She put on a robe and took the ginger tea outside to the cool night.
The stars shown brightly as Kira sat outside her room on a makeshift chair. The stars were different. This was not Bajor. This was not her home. Another time and another Bajor.
"Can't sleep?" Lieutenant Jadzia Dax, the Trill Science Officer, said as she sat next to her friend. She was worried about her friend, she had been moody and quiet ever since they arrived on New Bajor.
"No...it's too noisy here." Kira said and took another sip of her steaming mug of tea.
"Oh...so the palukoos woke you up?" Jadzia said and tried not to smile.
Kira looked at her friend and frowned. "Has anyone ever told you, you are nosey?"
"After eight lifetimes, I've heard it all...what else is there for a Trill to do."
Kira grimaced at the bad joke. She wanted to tell Jadzia her nightmares but she wouldn't understand. No one could unless they were there. "I'm all right. Just thinking. I'm too tired to sleep I guess."
Jadzia didn't buying any of that story. She looked at Kira and glanced at the stars and sighed. "Sometimes Kira, a burden shared is less of a burden if someone can carry it with you."
Kira smiled in the darkness. "I'll remember that."
"Good, I think I'll go and get some sleep."
***
The sun shown brightly as Governor Kiev Kali stood with Kira near the runabout Orinoco. Their duty completed and they were heading back to Deep Space Nine.
"Take care of yourself, Nerys."
"Take care of New Bajor, Kali.' She kissed him lightly on the cheek.
"Ah Lt Dax, I haven't met many Trills but if you are a sample of what Trill women are like, please stay and marry me!" The Governor joked.
"She's too old for you, Kali!" Kira said and heading into the runabout.
"But I like older women, Nerys! You should know that!" His voice trailed inside the runabout as the door closed. Dax looked at Kira with a quizzical expression.
"Don't ask!" Kira said before Dax had a chance to question the Governor's statement.
The stars quickly drifted by as the runabout made it's way through the Gamma Quadrant and toward the wormhole for the Alpha Quadrant. The occupants of the runabout sat engrossed in their own thoughts. For Jadzia Dax it was a wonderful experience being at the opening of New Bajor's Peace Gardens. The relaxed atmosphere she thought would made Kira relax after the last couple of months. She glanced over to Kira who seemed to be engrossed in her reading padd although Dax was sure she hadn't read any of it since she glanced at her a couple of hours ago.
"My spots have started to fade..." Dax said trying to get Kira's attention.
Kira merely grunted and continued to stare at the padd.
"Kira...did you hear what I said?"
"What?" The Bajoran answered and looked up.
"You're not listening...is anything the matter?"
"No...I'm okay...just tired."
Kira closed her eyes and tried to relax but the images returned and she opened her eyes again and went back to her padd.
Dax didn't believe her. She had been moody, more than usual, at the ceremony. She dismissed the those thoughts as she prepared for entry into the wormhole.
"10 seconds to the wormhole."
The majestic entrance to the wormhole opened and it still awed Jadzia every time they passed it. She had seen and felt many experiences in her eight lifetimes or her symbiont, Dax, had but this always amazed her. The lights and colors inside the wormhole were breathtaking.
The lights changed. Dax looked up in amazement at Kira.
"What the hell..." Kira said and she struggled to take control of the runabout.
"I've seen this before!" Dax exclaimed.
She had seen this before, when Commander Benjamin Sisko and herself had discovered the wormhole. She had both seen the kaleidoscope of colors. The runabout came to a stop. Whoever or whatever caused this landed the runabout in what appeared to be a clearing in a forest in the middle of the night somewhere.
"Well...let's see what's out there." Kira said and got up from her chair.
They both exited the runabout. Kira looked at the heavens. "This can't be..." and then she looked down at her uniform to see it was replaced with dark pants, vest and tunic. She looked over at Dax who also had the same clothes.
"What?...This can't be..." Dax looked around the dense foliage and turned to Kira who was looking very confused.
"Jadzia, this is Celtis..it.."
"Who are you?" A voice sounded through the darkness followed by a light beam.
"I'm..Lt Jadzia Dax from Starfleet and this is..."
"Starfleet? By the Prophets! What are you doing here? I thought Starfleet didn't want to get involved in our problems!"
"Why don't you reveal yourself?" Kira ordered. She already knew the voice but was still taken aback when the young Bajoran revealed himself. "Kali..." She whispered.
"My name is Kiev Kali, and you are Bajoran...but who are you? Don't you know the Cardassian patrol will be heading this way shortly!"
"I'm from the exiled Bajoran Military."
The boy laughed. The exiled Bajoran Military was a running in-joke in the Shakaar and easily identified the members. He would congratulate this woman later on. "What cell are you from." He said as he lowered his weapon.
"The 10th...we were ambushed by the Cardassians."
"Well come with me, I'm sure you will ind a home with us. What about your friend?"
"She's a Trill, she just thinks she's in Starfleet.'
The boy laughed. "Oh, I see. And what's your name?"
Kira hesitated. "Rana Kevlar."
"Okay Rana lets go before the regular patrol catch us."
They trudged through the brushes, the young Bajoran leading the way. Dax slowed down.
"Where are we?"
"We're back on Bajor...this is Celtris. Behind those mountains is the Celtris 3 Cardassian settlement."
"Celtris 3? Wasn't that destroyed by the resistance 20 years ago?"
Kira nodded. "That's why I didn't give my name, if we are where I think we are then a younger Kira Nerys is lurking around here." Kira said and smiled. She was baffled. She had been thinking about this place since her nightmares returned.
The were led into an underground cave and through myriad of tunnels before they got to the main area which was lit. Kira recognized her old comrades. She knew this place. It was her home for over five years and these were her family.
The young Bajoran that led them here dropped onto the floor in exhaustion.
"Any news, Kali?" A middle aged man with silver hair and a commanding presence said as he stood in front of the boy.
Kira froze. Dianon Jurii, the leader of the Shakaar cell was a father figure to her. The man she grew up loving as her own father. She adored the man. A smile formed on her lips. It was good to see him again. He was shorter than she remembered and his hair was greyer. His eyes were still the sky blue she remembered.
"Well, I picked up two lost palukoos but I didn't sight anyone else. Jurii, this is Rana Kevlar, her cell was destroyed by the Cardassian ambush we heard about two nights ago and her friend Jadzia Dax, she's a Trill who thinks she's in Starfleet." He said and laughed.
Dianon turned towards them and smiled. His grey eyes shone as Kira tried to keep her tears in check. Dianon looked at the Bajoran. The eyes reminded him of someone. He knew that look in her eyes. She also had seen a lot in her short years.
"Rana, what cell are you fro?"
"The 10th. We were ambushed by the Cardassians. Unfortunately Stac and the rest of my comrades were killed. I just managed to escape and I found Dax wandering around..."
Jadzia looked at Kira and decided it would be best to let her do the talking since it looked like she knew what she was doing. The mention of the cell leader's name caused a grimace of pain to cross his face.
"Yes, a collaborator sold you out...we got word of the massacre a few days ago. We thought everyone had died..."
Dianon stopped talking as commotion was heard in the tunnels and a Bajoran man walked in laughing. His uniform was covered in mud and his salt and pepper hair was matted with dried leaves and the same mud. He walked in laughing and threw the knapsack he held to the ground.
"Anton! What the ... oh the Prophets! What _is_ that smell!" Dianon said as he held his nose.
The cause of the smell walked in. A young Bajoran girl, her dark hair covered in mud and what appeared to be effluent. The only visible uncovered area were her dark eyes. Her clothes were covered by sludge and mud. Her shoes squished as she walked leaving a muddy trail.
Dax was taken aback. She knew those eyes and she looked from Kira to the girl.
Kira sat there grinning.
"Nerys! What in the Prophet's name..."
"Argh! I hate Cardassians! They can't even build latrines correctly!" The girl snapped back and went to clean up.
Anton Kief laughed until he hurt and then turned to his leader and laughed some more.
"We set the explosives and we hid. Little miss nosey wanted to see the ammunitions explode so she went behind another building..." He again exploding in a booming laugh. "Ah...the explosives went up..."
The young Bajoran girl came out again still covered in the mud but her head had been washed and she held a towel. "If you don't stop I'm going to kill you!" She snapped and went back inside.
"Oh I'm sorry, Kai Nerys!" The man said and fell to the floor twitching in mock horror.
"What happened to get Nerys smelling like that?!"
"Well when the explosives went up, it also obliterated the latrines but Nerys also fell into a sewerage Well...we had to go through the tunnels and they were filled with mud from the rains, the Cardassians would have smelt her for kelipates if we hadn't!" Anton couldn't keep a straight face any longer and howled.
Everyone began to laugh. Nerys walked back in, clean and with a clean uniform. She looked furious. She went over to the pot and got herself something to eat and sat down.
"You still smell." Anton said and chuckled. "Hey, Jurii, I think we should leave Nerys here for the raid on Celtris..the Cardassians would smell us coming!" Anton said and roared again at his own joke.
Nerys just glared at him. "Where's that Fire Wine you promised?"
"You're not old enough for that! I'll bring it to you...although it would smell a lot nicer than you do!"
Kira got up and walked a little way outside the main area. Kira's tears rolled silently down her face and she tried to hide from general view. Dax walked on over and rested on a nearby rock bed.
"Kira, are we where I think we are?"
"It seems so, I'm not sure how it happened but we're definitely not in the wormhole.
They both sat on the rock bed watching the cell members. From behind a rock a small palukoo appeared and ran across Jadzia foot.
"Whoa!!" Jadzia jumped in fright and tried to stamp the spider with her boot.
Kira roared with laughter at the sight of Dax jumping up and down. The younger Kira Nerys raced to see the commotion and threw a dagger at the departing spider.
"What are you scared of? It's just a palukoo!" She said and speared the animal and threw it to Kali. "Trills are so soft!" She said in a huff and walked off to finish her dinner.
Everyone settled for the night. A single beacon shown in the sleeping Shakaar members. Kira sat up and walked out to the clear night air. She sat down on the boulders and looked up to the heavens. She tried to make sense of what had happened but found only questions.
"Survivors are the ones who suffer." Dianon Jurii said as he got out f the cave and sat next to her. "You have guilt, you have to forgive yourself, Rana. I have seen how you try and keep your tears back. I call in Survivor Guilt."
Dianon looked at the young woman, he felt a bond between them even though he only met her. He wanted to ask about her life but he could see she was grieving and he didn't want to cause her any more pain.
"I don't feel guilty..."
"Then why aren't you asleep like everyone else?"
Kira remained silent. She didn't know how to tell him she was afraid to go to sleep, afraid her nightmares would return. Afraid to shut her eyes.
"As I said, you are a survivor." Jurii said and picked up a small pebble and threw it.
"Why aren't you asleep?" Kira retorted.
Jurii sighed and fingered the pebbles in his hand. "I'm a survivor." He got up and placed his hand on her shoulder. "I have lived many years under Cardassian occupation. I have seen family and comrades die and one day I will die, but I know that the Prophets will guide us one day to reclaim what is ours."
He walked away leaving Kira to stare into darkness. Hours passed as Kira sat there looking for answers she couldn't find. She rested her head between her hands and sighed.
"I didn't know you were on duty tonight."
Kira was startled, she looked up to find Nerys staring at her. "I'm not, I couldn't sleep."
"Oh...I couldn't either."
The two of them sat side by side. Kira looked at the young Bajoran. She saw the fire that burned and the anger. She closed her eyes. She wanted to tell her not to make the mistakes, not to let the bitterness and the pain become a barrier but she couldn't. How could she tell someone to do something what she couldn't do.
"How long have you been in the Shakaar?" Nerys asked unexpectedly.
"Since I was 12."
"Me too...I hate Cardassians."
Kira was taken aback by the venom in the statement. "They are not all the same." She said. Her statement would have sent her into a rage had it been said before she met the Cardassian, Amon Morritsa. He had come to the station to sacrifice himself for the atrocities committed on Bajor by the Cardassians. He only achieved a small miracle in making Kira a friend. His death caused her to re-evaluate her feelings for the race.
Nerys looked at the older woman and stood up in fury. "After what they did to your cell?! I would kill any Cardassian."
"Even if you live to regret it?"
"I would never regret taking a Cardassian life. I'm Bajoran."
With that she stood up and walked into the cave. Kira sighed and walked inside herself.
***
The next morning, Jurii had assembled all cell leaders for the meeting that was to decide the fate of Celtris 3. Kira looked about at the meeting of some of the greatest resistance leaders.
"Rana, would you join us since you are the only one left of the 10th cell?"
Kira nodded and went to the group. Dax sat down to breakfast and looked around for any more wandering spiders.
Hours passed and the meeting had still not concluded. Dax was curious. She had heard a great deal about the Celtris 3 raid but never from anyone who was there. She was unaware that Kira had been involved.
"Kief, what's going on in there?" Nerys said anxiously pacing the floor.
"You know, Nerys, one of these days your impatience will get you killed." Anton Kief said as he stacked some phasers.
"I doubt that!"
"Are you going on the raid?" Dax asked Kira.
Nerys frowned at her. "I want to see someone stop me!"
"At least you don't stink anymore!" Anton chimed in as he left the room.
***
Kira Nerys stared at some of her former heroes. She couldn't believe she was sitting down with them. Men and women who had risked their lives, their freedom for the freedom of Bajor were all gathered there. As usual Jurii took command and held it.
"All right then, everyone will meet at 26:00. Lets go and prepare our cells. Tonight will go down in Bajoran history as the night we obliterated a Cardassian outpost from the soil of Bajor and lets see if they dare to build another settlement on our soil! We'll show those animals that we can strike back!"
A battle song began as the leaders broke up. Dax looked around and all the Bajorans were standing, their hand across their heart. She looked over to Nerys. What she heard was a resounding singing voice she didn't know Kira possessed.
"I didn't know you could sing." Dax whispered to Kira.
Kira smiled. "You didn't ask." She went back to singing the battle song. The years melted away and Kira was led by the stirring voices of the battle cry.
The singing ended with a resounding cheer. Jurii stepped forward to silence them.
"Tonight, we will be victorious!"
***
Kira paced. She was nervous. She had been down this road before but this was not how she remembered the days events. All around her the cell was getting ready for the biggest assault on the Cardassians yet.
"All right people, listen up. If for any reason this goes wrong, DO NOT come back here. If the Cardassians know we are coming, then they will know we will be here. Be careful."
Everyone picked up their phasers and home made bombs and trudged on out. Kira and Dax were right behind. Everyone assembled in the brushes. The night was cold, colder than Kira remembered it. Light rain began to fall as they moved out.
"Oh great!" Nerys said in disgust as she looked at the heavens. "More sludge!"
A chuckle rose from the group as they trudged on ahead. The cold and the rain made the ground muddy as the group met up with the other cells at the rendezvous point. The place was a desert. Here they can assemble and form the Bajoran juggernaut that would assault the Cardassian colony.
All the groups formed and separated into four units going North, South, East and West. They would attack from all sides.
The night exploded in bomb blasts as the first piece of the Bajoran units moved in. The colony was ablaze as fires were set off and bombs exploded. The sky was lit from the burning houses. Women and children screamed as Cardassian soldiers, awoken from their sleep, rushed to battle. Dax and Kira stayed back, guarding the rear. Dax looked around as Kira readied herself to join Juri's team.
"Jadzia, I have to do this. Stay here." She said and joined Jurii.
"No! Kira, wait!" Jadzia pleaded as she watched Kira join the group.
The younger Nerys stopped, she turned and looked at the Trill quizzically. She shook her head and ran to the group and joining them as they were about to strike.
Heavy rain began to fall making the compound a quagmire both for Bajoran and Cardassian. Kira looked at the younger Bajoran woman and vowed to try and change history if it were possible.
Jurii's cell moved in, firing phasers and throwing bombs, the group led by Jurii stormed the ammunitions bunker. The doors were flung open and a group of Cardassian soldiers exited. They were still dressed in their night shirts as they fired from the compound.
Kira's felt the old responses return as she fought side by side with the child she was. The smell of the fires stung her eyes and nostrils. She raised her phaser and fired at the approaching Cardassians.
The younger Nerys looked around and began to shoot. She hit one of the Cardassians, no older than she was before he had a chance to lift his phaser. She turned to see her leader, Jurii fall in front of her. A phaser blast from the Cardassians in the compound caught him in the chest ending his life.
"NOOOOOOOO!" Nerys yelled as she fell to her knees. Jurii was dead. She began to weep.
Kira stopped in her tracks and ran back to the dead man. She kneeled beside his body and the weeping child.
Nerys got up, tears ran down her face and she picked up Jurii's phaser and held her own. She fired blindly at every Cardassian she could see. Her sorrow gave way to blind anger as she yelled curses and fired both phasers.
A mother and child ran out of the compound trying to escape the killing. Nerys turned and came face to face with the Cardassian woman and her child.
She stared at the Cardassian woman and then at her child. She was no older than her, her eyes pleading for mercy and screaming for deliverance.
Nerys hesitated and then slowly raised both phasers to fire. Kira stepped into the breech between the Cardassians and Nerys.
"Get out of my way, Rana or by the Prophets get out of my way!" Nerys screamed through the tears and the anger.
"No, I won't let you do this."
"Move or damn you, I will kill you!"
"Nerys, don't kill an innocent child."
"No one is innocent in this war, No Cardassian is innocent. Move away or I will be forced to kill you as well."
Kira saw she couldn't reason with her. Her anger and bitterness clouding any reasoning. She stepped aside. Nerys looked at the defenseless Cardassian woman and child, trapped between the body of the dead Shakaar leader and the phaser. Nerys ran toward the Cardassian ammunitions tower, she turned at the entrance and with a loud cry she fired her phaser killing them both.
"I don't forgive Cardassians and I never will!" She screamed at Kira who stood in the rain.
The woman and the child lay in the mud as the rain washed away their life. The Cardassian girl's eyes stared into open space, a grimace of pain etched forever. Nerys' anger burned and she turned and stormed the ammunitions tower with Anton. They raced out again just before the tower exploded into a fire ball sending debris flying through the fire lit sky.
The battle raged as the Cardassian were caught off guard. The death toll rose on both sides. The battle raged for hours until the final shots ringed in the early hours of the morning.
The destruction of the Celtris 3 outpost had been a success. Kira and Dax watched as the cell regrouped, carrying the bodies of the dead and wounded back into the brush and safety.
Nerys knelt before the body of her leader. She held his cold, wet hand and wept. She placed both his hands in her hands and quietly sang the Bajoran death chant.
Kira walked over to the edge of the dense bushland and watched the fires of the burning colony. She had seen this event so many times. She was startled by a hand on her shoulder. She turned and faced...
Jurii!
The old man stood before her. She looked at the scene behind him, he lay dead in the mud, his 'family' all kneeling beside his body and then turned to the man who stood before her. Kira gasped.
"You have to let go, Nerys. We all did what we had to do. Forgive yourself. Move on."
With those words Jurii disappeared. Kira sank to her knees and wept.
A flash of light exploded in front of her and they were back on the runabout, back in the wormhole, heading for Deep Space Nine.
"You have to forgive yourself, Nerys."
Those words reverberated in her head. She was surprised when she opened her eyes and found Jadzia looking at her.
"Are you okay, Kira?"
"Ye..yes I'm fine...are you okay?"
Dax looked puzzled. They had been in the runabout for a few hours. Nothing had happened She didn't think there was anything wrong.
"I'm fine. I was just saying we're here."
"Oh...Dax.." Kira stammered. She wondered if she had dreamt the events of the past few days. "What happened in the wormhole?"
Jadzia frowned. She couldn't remember anything unusual happening while they went through the wormhole.
"We entered the wormhole and we exited the wormhole. Nothing happened."
"Oh." Kira said and closed her eyes.
***
Bajor's sun set as the early afternoon shadows lengthened. Vedek Bareil closed the doors to the orb and bowed his head. He had to get to Bajor. He would be needed to help a grieving soul.
Nerys would need him.
***
The runabout landed and Kira sat in the chair thinking. Dax stopped and turned.
"Are you coming?"
"Yes.."
They walked through the air lock and onto the bustling promenade. Kira looked up and found Vedek Bareil waiting for her, his hand outstretched to her. She saw the look in his eyes and she knew he would understand.
"Bareil."