written by Mary Draganis
Author's note: The story is set just after the episode "Second
Skin."
"You want me to do what?!"
Benjamin Sisko couldn't believe his ears. Before him stood his old friend, Daniel Haycock. They had both served on board the Saratoga, both went through a loss. Jennifer had been great friends with Daniel's wife Sonya.
She, too, perished in the battle of Wolf 359 with the Borg. They had both watched as the Saratoga was blown apart. All Daniel had left afterward was his three old daughter.
Benjamin looked at his friend incredulously. "Where are you going?"
Daniel Haycock was a stockily built man, his salt and pepper hair matched his dark eyes as he smiled at his friend.
"Marisa asked me to meet her parents..."
Benjamin was speechless. He had know about the new woman in Daniel's life but didn't think it was serious. He was happy for his friend that he found happiness again after such a tragic loss.
"I just want you to mind Alexa until I get back."
"Where are you going?!"
"Um.." Daniel got up and walked to the viewport and looked out. "Earth. I'm going home to Earth. Marisa means a great deal to me, Ben. She helped me through...I don't know where I would be if she hadn't..."
He couldn't finish his sentence as tears welled up in his eyes. After five years it still brought him pain to think of Sonya in the exploding Saratoga. He knew Benjamin would understand because he had gone through the same process.
"I'm going for a week. I understand you have a school here..?"
Benjamin exhaled and tossed the baseball around. "We closed it down. All the Bajoran children were relocated back to Bajor because of the Dominion threat. Are you sure you want to leave Alexa here, why don't you take her with you?"
"I thought of that...believe me. Can you do it?" Daniel looked at his friend.
Sisko looked at his friend and sighed. He smiled and clasped him on the shoulder. "I don't think it will cause any problem. Jake can show her around the station and take care of her while I'm on Bajor for te negotiations.
*****
She couldn't breath. The stench overpowered her. The rain fell quietly outside and voices echoed around her. She couldn't focus, panic overtook her.
The nightmares had returned. Her heart rate had been pounding in her chest.
She made her way to the replicator and ordered a hot cup of herbal tea. The memories of her mother resurfaced. Her time on Cardassia was traumatic enough but seeing her own frozen image...it reminded her of her mother.
She sipped her tea and closed her eyes. She wished she could see her mother's image. She got up and went to her console.
"Yes, How can I help you?" An irritated Bajoran woman said tersely.
"This is Major Kira Nerys, Is Vedek Bareil available?" Kira said trying to keep her voice even and unemotional.
"I'm sorry Major Kira but Vedek Bareil is with Kai Winn for the dedication of the Prophet's Temple. I could contact him if it is of an urgent nature."
"Oh..no.."
"I will leave him a message for you."
The screen went blank.
*****
Kira dressed and made her way down to Quark's Bar. She stopped at the entrance.
"Major Kira. How nice to see you tonight. Drinking alone?" The Ferengi bar owner said as he made a place for her at the bar.
"Quark, get me the best Saurian Brandy you have and keep it coming," Kira ordered. Quark obligingly handed her a bottle and a glass and she made her way to the back of the bar. She was determined to get as drunk as she could. She glared at the drink in front of her. Quark's was busy but she didn't even notice the yelling at the Dabo tables or the couple kissing in the booth next to her.
"You had a rough day, Major?" Quark had appeared from nowhere with another bottle. A smile formed on his lips.
Kira glared up at him and snarled. "Go away, Quark."
"Oh, is that any way to treat a friend..?"
"Get this straight, you little troll. I am not your friend. Got it?!"
"They all play hard to get at first. What you need is a good holosuite program...to relieve those stresses...I hear Vedeks are not--" Quark stopped mid sentence. Kira's angry stare made him blanch. "Maybe some other time..." He said as he went to serve some other customers.
Jadzia Dax, the Trill science officer, witnessed the exchange and slid next to her friend.
"Hi. Tough day?"
Kira looked up and the trill and half-heartily smiled. "What's the difference between a Vedek and a palukoo?"
Jadzia smiled. "I don't know."
"Palukoos don't go to temple dedications..." Kira said and she took another great big gulp. She thought of that man who had made her life so much different. When she really needed him, he wasn't there.
Dax picked up the still near full bottle that Quark had left. "This stuff will roast your insides..."
"That's the idea..."
"So you're getting drunk? Do you want to talk about it?"
"Yes I'm going to get drunk, and no, I don't want to talk..."
Jadzia watched as Kira downed another couple of drinks. She had seen Kira drunk before but this time she wasn't drinking synthehol. She remembered Curzon once drank two bottles of Saurian Brandy and had a huge hangover the next morning. She winced at the memory.
Dax slid out of the bench and went over to Quark who had been serving Morn.
"Quark, let me know when Kira is ready to leave," she said and headed out the door.
After what seemed like a just a few moments, Kira looked up and stared at the empty Bar. The hours had sped past. Jadzia had left. She was alone in the bar with Quark and Rom.
Then Jadzia re-appeared at the door.
"I'm glad you're here...you want to take her to her quarters? I was going to call Odo," Quark drawled.
"How much did she drink?"
Quark made a face. "Three bottles of Saurian Brandy. She is going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow...if she doesn't get alcohol poisoning by then!"
Jadzia grimaced and went on over to the inebriated Bajoran. Kira stared at her, her eyes glazed over and a crooked grin on her face.
"Jadzia...my friend! Want a drink?!"
"Come on, we're going to bed..."
"Together?!" Kira yelped and fell back down on the seat. "I don't want to go to bed...with you...I want Bareil...but he's gone..."
Dax rolled her eyes. This was going to be tougher than she imagined.
"No, you're going to sleep in _your_ bed..." She helped her up and Kira took a few steps, but her legs turned to jelly and she fell to her knees. She sat on the floor laughing and looking up at Jadzia.
Dax and Quark looked at her. Both looked at each other and went and held her up.
Kira looked at Quark with a smile on her face. "Quark..did you know you're kinda...cute..? Where's the holosuite?" Kira laughed.
"Jadzia that's a great idea! Let's put her in the holosuite..." Quark half-jokingly suggested. He wouldn't mind getting the Bajoran Major in a holosuite the way she was.
"Quark do you have a death wish? When Kira sobers up she'll kill you!"
"It was worth a try!" Quark shrugged and helped Dax.
They struggled to get the drunk Bajoran to her quarters where Quark left Jadzia to fend for herself and left shaking his head.
*****
"Jake!" Sisko's voice boomed inside his quarters.
"Yeah?" Jake Sisko said as he came out of his bedroom stuffing clothes and word pads in his bag.
"Where are you going?"
"With Chief O'Brien on the Defiant. You said I could go --"
"I did? When?"
"Last week, don't you remember? I can still go, can't I?"
"Oh..yes.."
"What's the matter?"
"Admiral Haycock is going to Earth and wanted me to look after his daughter -- I thought you would babysit while I was on Bajor."
"Why don't you ask Jadzia."
Sisko snorted. He remembered the last time Dax babysat Jake. He could still remember Jennifer vowing never to let Curzon babysit ever again.
"No, no, no!" Sisko said with a chuckle. "I'll find someone else..."
****
The computer alarm woke Kira from her drunken stupor. She groaned as she got out of bed. Her clothes had been scattered all over the room. She couldn't remember how she got back. She showered and dressed.
Afterward Kira looked at herself in the mirror and shuddered. A message left on her console from Jadzia didn't brighten her up. She checked to see if Bareil had sen her anything but he hadn't. After a short stopover at the infirmary she made her way to Ops hoping that Sisko wouldn't notice the way she looked.
The Operations Center was a hive of activity as the turbolift stopped. Kira Nerys closed her eyes and sighed. She walked off very slowly.
Jadzia looked up and smiled.
"How are you feeling?"
Kira made a face. "I don't feel anything..."
"You would have if Quark had taken up your offer."
"What offer?"
"You wanted to go into the holosuite with him!" Jadzia chuckled.
Kira sat heavily on her seat and groaned. She was startled to find Sisko looking at her from the top of the landing leading into his office.
"You look tired, Major."
Kira narrowed her eyes. She knew Sisko. This was some kind of trap. She could sense it. Her head also ached. She couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten that drunk. Not even when the Liberation came.
"Major, can I see you in my office, please?"
Dax looked at Kira and smiled.
Kira just shrugged her shoulders and slowly made her way to his office. She sat down in front of his desk and closed her eyes against the pounding in her head.
Sisko stood in front of the replicator. "Major, would you like some tea?"
Kira was taken aback. She wasn't expecting to be asked in for a tea break. "Uh..yes..Bajoran herbal tea.."
Kira looked at her commanding officer and winced. This was going to be big. Sisko just didn't invite her in for a chat. He could have done that in Ops...
"Raktajino, extra strong and a Bajoran herbal tea," he ordered and two steaming mugs materialized.
"Kira, I've been thinking.." he said as he handed the tea to his second officer. "I'm going to relieve you of your duties for a day or so."
Kira stopped sipping the tea and stared in open amazement at Sisko.
She had several crew rosters to do, several reports that had been delayed and crew evaluations. She was already rushed off her feet and now Sisko had wanted her to take a few days off? She put the tea down and hit her communicator.
"Kira to Bashir. I think we have medical emergency in Ops..."
Sisko smiled and continued to sip his coffee.
"Is everything all right up there? You're not still feeling sick, Major?" Dr Julian Bashir's voice echoed in the office.
Kira grimaced. She had gone to Bashir for something to relieve the massive headache she had. She didn't expect him to let everyone know.
"Yes, everything is fine, Doctor. Just a mistaken diagnosis..." Sisko smiled.
Kira smirked. "Are you feeling all right?"
"Perfect. Couldn't be better. But..how are you feeling? I hear you had an interesting evening at Quark's last night..?"
"Jadzia has a big mouth..."
"Wasn't Jadzia who told me. I saw you nursing that Saurian brandy last night.
Actually I had begun to think you needed a break. Major, you are too tense. I have a more relaxing job for you for the next day or so which I'm sure will be better for your 'headache'. My friend, Admiral Daniel Haycock, is going to go to Earth for a few days and because I will be tied up with the delegation from Bajor..."
"But I'm going with you for that..."
"You were. Vedek Bareil will be attending as the Provisional Government's representative. Kai Winn suggested that a member of the Vedek Assembly would be better suited in these negotiations."
Kira stared open mouthed. Bareil hadn't told her he was going be there. "Bareil didn't..."
"Well I just made the arrangements with the Provisional Government a few moments ago. I have a very special job for you, Major. There is a very special person who will be visiting the station. Her name is Alexa Haycock..."
"What do we know about this Alexa Haycock? Is she Starfleet? Because if she is, wouldn't Dax be better suited--?"
Sisko stopped her in mid-sentence.
"Alexa Haycock is seven years old. She is the daughter of Admiral Daniel Haycock. Admiral Haycock has urgent business to attend to on Earth and he asked me if we would mind looking after Alexa."
"And..? What do I have to do with it?"
"I want you to mind her while I'm away on Bajor. I will be back tomorrow evening."
"You want me t babysit?!" Kira jumped from her seat as if hit by a lightening bolt, then slowly sat down again after realizing that shouting accentuated the pounding in her head. She held her head in her hands and groaned. "What about Jake!"
"Jake is going with Chief O'Brien on the Defiant."
"Dax?" Kira asked hoping it was a way out.
Sisko put the steaming hot mug on the desk and leaned towards Kira. "The last time I left Dax to babysit was a nightmare, both for Jake and for Curzon. So.." he picked up his mug again. "I thought of you."
Kira groaned.
*******
Kira sat at Ops in half a daze for most of the morning. Her headache had gotten worse as each hour passed. Jadzia sat at her console looking very concerned for her friend.
"Are you okay? You look a bit green..."
"Oh, I'm okay. The drums going in my head should stop by the time I go to bed." Kira said with a grimace. "Remind me never to drink Saurian Brandy again..."
The turbo lift ascended and Benjamin Sisko, Admiral Haycock and his daughter Alexa got off. Alexa looked around the Operations Center with amazement.
Kira glanced up and immediately walked up to meet them.
"Admiral, this is Major Kira Nerys, my second in command and the Bajoran Liaison to DS9."
"Major, I've heard a lot about you. I'm pleased to meet you. This is Alexa, my daughter."
Kira smiled at the young child. This is going to be a nightmare, Kira thought to herself.
"Why are your eyes red?" Alexa said staring intently at the Bajoran.
Kira scowled at Sisko.
"The Major had a long night last night." Sisko explained, smiling at Kira, who only managed a grimace.
The two men stepped back onto the lift, leaving Alexa with Kira. The pair descended the stairs and Kira sat down at her console. Alexa stared at her, and when Kira had closed her eyes for a moment, came right up to her.
"What's wrong with your nose?!" She asked and poked at Kira's nose ridges.
Kira jumped causing the reports she had on the console to crash to the floor. She groaned as the noise increased her discomfort.
Jadzia quickly came round and ushered the young girl to her console.
"She's very jumpy, isn't she? Are all Bajorans like her?" The young girl asked a bemused Dax.
"No, not really. Major Kira is feeling a bit sick today. Here sit down here and.." Dax punched up a game quickly. "play this game while Major Kira and I do some work."
Alexa sat at one of the consoles and played until she got bored then she watched as the everyday running of Ops swung into full gear. She was captivated by the Bajoran who directed things even thought she looked sick.
At the end of a long day, Kira and Alexa went down to the replimat to get something for Alexa to eat. Jadzia had mentioned that Alexa might be hungry. Kira turned a little green at the thought of food.
Alexa looked dazzled by all the promenade. She stopped in front of Quark's and gazed in amazement at the different species.
"Do all sorts of people come here? Can we go in and eat here?"
Kira hesitated. The smell of alcohol was turning her stomach. "All right," she said reluctantly.
"Well, if it isn't Major Kira..." Quark said with a smile. "I'm still open to your suggestion about the holosuite--" He didn't finish the sentence.
Kira was about two inches from his face, handfuls of his lapels in her fists.
"Not in this lifetime! And if you ever mention it again I'll break every bone in your body," she hissed into his ear, and released him.
"I'm glad to see you're feeling better," Quark replied as he straightened his jacket.
"He likes you," Alexa observed as she sat down.
After what seemed like an eternity, Alexa finished eating the steak and onion pie that Quark brought her and a double chocolate ice cream.
Kira had turned pale as the aroma of the food overwhelmed her.
"I like it here!" Alexa exclaimed.
******
After they had finished eating they went and explored the rest of the promenade. Alexa dragged Kira everywhere she could think of, even getting a jumja stick on the way.
As the day came to a close a very tired Kira ushered her charge into her quarters. She practicall fell onto the settee as Alexa looked around.
"You don't have much. How old are you, Major?"
Kira stayed where she was. The thumping in her head had receeded a little but her eyes remained closed.
"I'm older than you."
Alexa looked at the woman and frowned. "Do you have a family?"
The question came unexpectedly. Kira opened her eyes and straightened.
"No...They were killed by the Cardassians."
"Oh..." Alexa fell quiet. "I had a mother but she died at Wolf 359 when I was three. My daddy told me."
Kira looked at the child and remembered her own childhood. She was only twelve when she joined the Shakah. She couldn't remember her mother. Her mother died when she was three in the Singha Refugee Camp. Her image was foggy and it made Kira ache not being able to visualise her.
How she hated being in those camps. She didn't know what bothered her most...that she didn't have her mother around or the fact that the precious image of her had grown hazy in her mind.
"My mother died when I was three as well." Kira whispered.
"What did your mother do? My mother flew the ship! I want to grow up to be like her..."
"My mother was an icon painter in the D'Cor province."
Kira closed her eyes again and lifted her legs onto the setee. They both fell silent. After a short while she fell asleep, still in her uniform.
Alexa, who had been amusing herself with an ornament, looked at the sleeping Bajoran for a long moment, then went to the sleeping quarters and found a blanket to cover her up with...
*************
The sound of a woman dying surrounded her. She heard her name and tried in vain to look at who was calling her. She could hear the screams...
Her heart beat raced as she got out of bed and went to the replicator to order some hot tea. Her hangover had subsided. She sat in the living area, staring at the stars in the view port.
"Are you okay?"
Kira turned, Alexa stood in the doorway with a worried expression on her face.
"Why are you up?"
"I heard you screaming." Alexa said as she sat next to the Major.
"When? Kira asked. She wasn't aware that she had.
"You had a bad dream. I get those dreams all the time. Daddy tells me they will go away but I don't think so...You still have them." Alexa said matter-of-factly.
"They do go away...just sometimes they come back."
"Were you dreaming about your mother?"
Kira nodded, not trusting herself to speak. The same dream kept repeating itself.
She couldn't focus on her mother's face, couldn't see her clearly. It was as if a shroud were between them.
"Do you have a first name?"
Kira smiled. "My name is Kira Nerys..."
"So you're first name is Kira? That is a beautiful name."
"No, that is my family name. My first name is Nerys."
"Do you want to sleep with me so your dreams won't come back? I sleep with my daddy when I have bad dreams...Did you sleep with your daddy when you had bad dreams?"
"Sometimes. Sometimes I would sit outside and watch the stars..."
Kira got lost in thought, going back years to when she sat outside and watched the stars and prayed to the Prophets to bring her mother back.
She got up and ushered Alexa into her bedroom.
"I think it's time both of us went to sleep."
*********
The next morning, Ops was busier than usual. Kira tried to keep up with the pace but found she didn't have time to look after Alexa.
Dax looked around to find Kira when a subspace message came through for her.
"Kira, Benjamin is on the comm link for you."
Kira went into Sisko's office and sat down. "Yes, Commander."
"You look busy...Is everything all right?"
"Well...two freighters have broken down and we have a Bajoran transport ship that lost half its cargo. We're searching for it. Apart from that everything is running smoothly," Kira said with a smile.
"Glad to hear it, Major. I have some rather bad news. The negotiations aren't going according to the plan so it looks as if I won't be back for another day or so."
Kira sat and stared at the screen. "We'll manage," she said through her teeth.
"Good. See you in a few days."
The comm link went down and Kira swore. She went out to Ops.
Alexa was sitting at Kira's console.
"Alexa, come with me. Dax, I'm going down to the infirmary."
*****
"I would be happy to mind Alexa while you're busy," Bashir said and held out his hand to the child.
"Thank you Doctor. Alexa, I'll be back to pick you up..."
The child nodded. This looked like a more fun place to be than the Ops area. Dr Bashir showed the child around and they settled on playing a game on the computer console until his nurse approached Bashir.
"Excuse me, Doctor. Mrs Lanah has gone into labor!"
"Can I watch?!" Alexa exclaimed.
"Not this time. I'm going to be very busy. I want you to stay here and play the game okay?"
The child nodded.
Bashir and his nurse went to Mrs Lanah as Alexa looked around and then at the game. After a while she grew tired of the game. She noticed that Bashir was still busy so she decided to go and have a look around.
*******
Kira and Dax finally managed to get the last freighter going. It had been a long and tiring day. She set out for the infirmary hoping that Alexa hadn't been too much trouble for Bashir.
When she arrived at the infirmary she found Bashir hard at work looking over the daily reports.
"Doctor, where is Alexa?"
"Alexa...oh..ah..."
"You do know where the child is?" Kira said impatiently.
"Not exactly. I was busy with Mrs Lanah and..."
Kira swore and left the infirmary. She looked in her quarters but the child wasn't there. She went to Odo's office but found that empty. She finally arrived at Quark's hoping the child had gone to eat.
"Hi Major!" Alexa said, coming down from the top of the bar. "I've been playing with Nog in a holosuite..."
Kira angrily looked at Rom.
"Rom, where's Quark?!"
"Q-Quark?" The Ferengi stammered, a stunned expression on his face.
Kira exhaled loudly. "Rom, where is Quark?!"
"Ah...my brother is busy..."
"Mister Quark is in the holosuite. He said he was going to be a while," offered Alexa.
"Did he now?!" Kira said as she started for the steps.
Her path was blocked by Rom.
"Get out of my way, or I'll break you in two!"
Rom quickly stepped aside and let Kira pass with Alexa right behind. She stopped outside the holosuite. She could hear voices. Her eyes bulged when she recognized her own.
The little troll had made a holosuite program of her!
She opened the holosuite doors to reveal a naked Quark in a tub. Beside him was an obviously well programmed facsimile of Kira Nerys giving oo-mox to a very happy Ferengi.
"QUARK!" Kira yelled.
*****
Kira sat in the bar with Alexa. Quark had managed to save himself only because the child had been there. Alexa quickly ate the double caramel ice cream as Kira sat and watched.
"How could there be two of you?" Alexa asked between mouthfuls of ice cream.
"Well...you can program the holosuite to project an image."
"Like Quark did with you?"
Kira grimaced. "Yes like Quark did with me and he will live to regret it."
"Kira...could someone bring their mother back like that?"
Kira looked at the child. She hadn't thought about that. "I could." She said quietly.
"I would like to see where you lived...can you show me?"
Kira wanted to cry. She wanted to go somewhere and be by herself but she didn't. She walked over to Quark who had recovered enough to be behind the bar.
She came back down half an hour later. Alexa had finishing her third ice cream.
"Is it ready?" the child asked as she finished.
Kira nodded. They both went up together.
The doors parted to reveal the Sigha Refugee camp. The squalor was everywhere. Kira was taken aback by the familiarity of the program. Drops of rain began to fall on ground.
Kira closed her eyes.
Alexa looked at the starved population and shook her head.
"The Cardassians did this?"
Kira nodded. The images before her were too real. She picked up a stone and felt the smooth edge. How many times she had picked up rocks and flung them at Cardassian soldiers.
"Where did you live?"
"Over there." Kira pointed to a row of makeshift houses. They slowly made their way to one in particular. There was no lock on the door, there wasn't an need for one. They entered a cramped room. Kira looked around.
It was smaller than she remembered it.
Over in the corner a man, his black hair peppered with grey, knelt by a bed of a dying woman, her face gaunt from malnutrition, her gaze empty.
Alexa looked up at Kira. The resemblance to her mother was unmistakable. They shared the same features.
The woman's dark eyes showed too much pain as she lay dying, her husband still at her side, weeping silently.
"I don't like it here." Alexa whispered.
"Neither do I." Kira said, her voice betraying her emotions. "Computer, end program and delete Kira One."
They exited the empty holosuite.
*****
Admiral Haycock arrived back at DS9 at the same time as Benjamin Sisko. Alexa ran to her father as he stepped from the airlock and embraced him.
Kira watched as the father and daughter were re-united.
Haycock smiled at Kira. "I trust she wasn't any problem?"
Kira found herself returning it. "No, we had a good time."
Alexa went over to Kira and hugged her. "Thank you." she said and went back to her father.
Sisko and Kira watched as the two went into the airlock.
"Well Major, I think you've earned a night off," he said as he watched the airlock close again. "I'll brief you on the negotiations in the morning." Sisko said and walked away.
"Nerys.."
Kira turned and Vedek Bareil stood outside the airlock. She smiled, glad he was here. He smiled.